Again the Universe had stepped in to bring people into my life to guide me through these darkest times and I had booked in to see the Psychologist at My University Campus, not sure how these things happened but call it intuition or guidance it is where my path led me. This was a pivotal moment in my life because it presented the ultimate gift to me that has carried me through my whole life and that is information is power. I became aware of the impact and trigger of childbirth in childhood victims of sexual abuse and suddenly the pieces of the puzzle got themselves out of the box and presented them to me and how I could turn things around and try to make sense and purpose of my own world. The other gift of being at University and this is how I was constantly reminded that the divine was at work looking back, I was where I needed to be and surrounded by my Soul Tribe at work. I recall talking to other students and discovering that there was an option and programme being offered to do a Double Degree in Arts and Social Work and what it meant that it would increase chances of employment after completion. I really had no idea what a Social Worker was at the time, I thought it might have had something to do with disabilities but had never come across anyone or any situation in my life that I could relate to what this meant so I began the path of research and exploration. What I discovered was that this I knew for sure was my calling, my path, meant for me and that there was no doubt. The Universe again confirmed that I was on the right path and the process was all too easy and again signalled that it was meant to be and my life had just begun. Every subject and topic resonated on so many different levels because I had a point of reference and was able to work through the material with a lens of both the teacher and the student because I had experience and wisdom of trauma and it was like reading the encyclopaedia of my life and opened up my world.
Life went on and I went through the motions of staying in a very bad relationship and limited support but by that time I had given birth to my son and my children and my University Degree were my sole focus. I was very isolated at this time their father worked nights in a pub would come home drunk at early hours of the morning and then sleep all day and this was my life, my children went to day care whilst I was at University and the other time I was their sole parent and this is how it was. There were very difficult times during the relationship that led to the significant decline in my mental health and I had found another abuser to replace my family without knowing it and stayed because I knew no different, it was normal for me, this was what felt normal and was what my life was meant to be and whilst I couldn’t change this part of my life at the time I compensated with focusing solely on my children and their every need and my education and they were my kryptonite to get me through those tough years.
