Another Life Lesson to Learn

There were times in my life where I craved and hoped for my situation and life to be different and tolerated the ongoing abuse in my relationship but also with the relationship with my mother and thought that because time had passed things would be different and maybe she would be loving and accepting of me this time and I allowed communication and opened my heart to allow her back into my life. This however didn’t end well, the differences between us in our values and beliefs were more evident and my mother never told me that she was proud of me for going to University achieving all that I had as the first in my family to achieve this higher level of education. I held down a job and to take care of two babies with no support. There was no love, there was only ridicule and hurtful comments and put downs, my mother was very vocal about her thoughts toward me, I was a bleeding heart that was not good for society and everything that our country and government didn’t need. Her hateful and cruel comments and looks about my weight were her only real focus every time I would see her every year or two and would break my heart even stronger every time and I would continue to fall into this false sense of maybe one day, one time she will see me with love and finally accept me that I am good enough.