I decided at this stage I would return home as the lure of the party lifestyle had taken its toll and relationships had become too much to bear and I returned home. At this time I learnt that whilst my father had been in hospital receiving treatment and diagnosis he had reconnected with my mother and my sister and from their accounts had been such a wonderful and beautiful experience for them both to reconnect with him and heal before sending him off to the place where he would spend his last days. I also learnt that in the reconnection to his loved ones my mother had convinced my father to rectify his wrongs and to make her his Executor of His Will and include her in the proceeds even though they had financially settled their marriage years ago and he had been very generous over the years, she was also in a long term relationship and living with a man at the time. She also convinced him to include my sister in the Will as well even though she had previously cut him out of her life. Money never meant much to me I was never motivated by it I just always seemed to have what I needed to get by and always financially independent and had my own money. I think that what distressed me most about this situation was that they were only motivated to reconcile and love because my father had dangled the carrot of financial reward for the love and affection of his family reunited as he had done to me many years before. I hated being part of this financial transaction and gave my mother a huge lump sum to free myself of her stronghold of financial connection to her with the inheritance of property.
This was a very difficult time for me emotionally and psychologically and trying to deal with the grief and loss of losing my father but also the flipside of freedom on the other side that awaited and the struggle was real. Again I withdrew at times and just drifted but had to keep up the facade and go through the motions. I recall my sister telling me the story in great detail and she was so passionate about telling me of the scene at the airport that she had witnessed between my parents when they had taken him to the airport to go home to his family to die. She described in great detail as they were in the airport like some sort of romance movie my mother and father clinging to each other and declaring their undying love for each other and my sister had been so moved and such a deep and beautiful connection to our father that she had been able to resolve all of her issues and conflict and tell each other that they loved each other. It was like she was recalling the greatest love story of all time and a beautiful memory that both my sister and mother would have forever.
I remember feeling so utterly betrayed at that moment and my world shattered, my mother and my sister had been able to embrace and love and declare undying love for the man who had destroyed my world and they were both aware of the abuse yet it never made either one of them aware of how such an act psychologically destroyed me, ultimate betrayal.
